So He Doesn’t Want a Relationship
So He Doesn’t Want a Relationship and he’s just told you so. Guess what? He means exactly what he says. Does that mean that he’s not attractive to you sexually? No, it doesn’t, but half-decent men will tell you straight out prior to having sex with you what they want or don’t want. They will also tell you their reasons for why they say what they say. Bad men will lie to you and tell you what you want to hear so that they can get you into bed, but half-decent men will tell you straight out their reasons for not being ready for a relationship.
Mirror Mirror
Sometimes what has occurred is that you have attracted to you someone who is a mirror of you. A man’s reasons for not wanting a relationship might be that perhaps he has to dedicate time to getting his life together. Perhaps he has projects on the go that he wants to complete. Once completed he can then create some time to give to someone whom he feels attracted to. A half-decent man will tell you exactly why he doesn’t want to get involved. He will be upfront with you.
Ask yourself, “Is this man reflecting my own lack of readiness for a relationship?” Quite often the answer is yes. However, if it isn’t, then don’t waste time putting effort into trying to change this guy. He isn’t the one for you, because if he was he’d be ready at the same time you are.
Be Clear On Your Intentions
If you then have sex with him in the hope that he will change his mind, you’re deluding yourself. If he suggests that you be a fuck-buddy when what you really want is to become a girlfriend and you say yes to his suggestion, well, more fool you.
A more mature, older man won’t change his mind just because you sleep with him. In fact, he will lose respect for you because you tried to tempt him to change his mind. Mature men aren’t stupid, you know. Perhaps those tactics work on men who are younger and more hormone-driven, but men who have worked out where they have gone wrong and are trying to fix their lives won’t fall for tactics like that.
Hear What He Says!
Besides, why would you want to compromise what you really want for someone who has no intention of getting into a relationship anyway? I mean, surely you speak and understand English? What’s so difficult to understand about him saying, “I don’t want a relationship”? Nothing!
If a man says that he doesn’t want a relationship, don’t take it personally. He’s just being honest with you. You should thank your lucky stars that he isn’t telling you that he loves you just to get you into bed. It will be your own fault if you then go ahead and sleep with him or get obsessed with him knowing that nothing long-term is going to come of it. You will only hurt yourself.
Impatient Bitches
So many women who are clients of mine do what I mentioned just prior. They don’t look at their lives and realise that the timing just isn’t right. They have to have what they want right now and to hell with the consequences of their choices and decisions. Then they waste endless amounts of money on readings that aren’t necessary. What is needed is for these women to wake up to the fact that sleeping with this guy is a no-win situation for them if they want a long-term relationship. They should stop sleeping with him immediately as doing so is getting their mind all twisted. Better still, don’t sleep with him in the first place.
Friendship is Great
What they should in fact have done is kept the relationship as a platonic friendship until such time as the possibility of a deeper, more committed intimate relationship might exist. It might never exist, so they shouldn’t close the door to meeting other guys either. Yet too many women are prepared to sit back in the hope that life hands them what they want. Instead, what they should be doing is putting themselves out there to get what they want. That’s if they feel that they are ready for a committed relationship right now.
Be Happy Being Single
Ladies, it’s okay to be single. It’s okay to spend time working on your own life. Half-decent men are great to have just as friends. You don’t have to sleep with them to keep them in your life. In fact, many men like to have platonic relationships with good women so that they don’t feel tangled up in all the expectations that come with relationships. They are then free to be themselves without any pressure on them to be anyone other than who they are.
It frees you too because then you are free to be who you really are. It’s win-win all round.
Are you Self-Disciplined?
It will be difficult for you to not fall into bed with a guy if you aren’t very disciplined in the area of sex. I warn you… if you sleep with men often, you will have no self-restraint when it comes to saying no. You’ll easily slip under their spell and find yourself in situations that you don’t want to be in. I chose to be celibate for many, many years which helped me to break the pattern of being used. It also helped me break the pattern of needing to have a man in my life, as well as no longer getting involved with violent men.
Celibacy proved to be so worth it every moment of going without. I straightened up and gained strength in an area of my life that had seen me get involved with abusers because I didn’t stand back long enough to see who they really were. One such situation almost got me murdered, so celibacy came to the rescue and cleared the smoke from my eyes so that I can always now see who I am really dealing with.
The Advantages of Being Self-Disciplined
Now, here’s is something else I learned from being celibate for all those years… If you manage to gain some self-discipline you’ll be able to tell a guy that he’s attractive and it won’t lead to anything else. It doesn’t have to. He might think that it’s going to, he might hope that it will, but because you’re strong in your self-restraint around sex, you’ll be able to say to him that you admire his looks or other aspects of who he is without wanting anything more. Who says that compliments should always lead to sex? Why can’t you compliment him on his looks and appeal? If you have self-discipline and self-restraint you can tell him those things to build him up and make him feel good. Then, you get your chance to say why you are doing it. You’re doing it to help make him feel good about himself. Isn’t that what we should all be doing for one another anyway?
If he chooses to think that you’re hitting on him, let him know straight out that this is not the case. He’s probably hoping that you are, but tell him that you are simply acknowledging the good things about him. He’ll appreciate that.
No Strings
It’s a sad state of affairs when we can’t build one another up without there being strings attached. It’s an even sadder state of affairs when people think that saying something nice to someone of the opposite sex means that you want something from them. Think about that. Try not to want something from someone when you say something nice to them from now on. Or, try not assuming that someone wants something from you if they are nice to you. In doing so, you’ll help break the pattern in the world that says that being nice always has to have strings attached.
Conclusion
Anyway, if your guy has said to you that he doesn’t want a relationship and his words are not what you want to hear, it’s best to dismiss the possibility of being in a relationship with him. Don’t spend time thinking about him or any potential of being with him in a committed relationship. If you decide to sleep with him knowing that he doesn’t want a relationship, you risk getting hooked up on a barb from which you won’t be able to unhook yourself for a long time. These types of ‘relationships’ will just waste the time that you have to find the real partner whom you want. The partner who wants to be in a committed relationship with you in return.
Don’t waste any time getting what you really want. After all, you only have a certain number of years to have children or to be happy in a relationship. Why waste those years on men who are just using you?
Besides, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.
Thanks for reading,
Psychic Madeline Rose
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Here’s a site where you’ll find my writings.
The Bravehearts of Belgrave High is now published. I have completed the first in a series of novels that I wrote for teens. It is the courageous story of a young girl growing up in a home filled with domestic violence. She also has to endure a school and neighbourhood full of bullies. We read how she manoeuvres her way through such a difficult situation. Plus, how she grows because of it, among other themes in the novel.
The desired outcome for young readers is that they will be inspired to treasure their unique differences. If they don’t fit in with the system or with those around them, then they should realise that it’s quite okay not to fit in.
Click here if you’d like to be taken to the site where you can purchase this novel. If you cannot see the site, use a browser other than Chrome.
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