Spiritual Abuse
Sadly, many Christians are persistently guilty of Spiritual Abuse, and Spiritual Abuse is based on manipulation. Without manipulation, it could not exist.
“Manipulation” is of the verb “manipulate”, meaning “to manage or control artfully or by shrewd use of influence, often in an unfair or fraudulent way” (New World Dictionary, Third College Edition, 1988, p. 823). By definition, this kind of manipulation is deceptive, and the manipulation involved in Spiritual Abuse is especially cruel because it takes advantage of a person’s deepest needs and highest ideals. Each characteristic of Spiritual Abuse is manipulative, but the following prominent manipulative techniques employed by spiritually abusive leaders and groups deserve special notice:
Manipulative Techniques
- An artificially loving, sometimes selective recruitment process
- Black-and-white thinking
- A selective approach to truth
- Twisting the words of the wise
- A hidden agenda
- Bait-And-Switch
- Group leveraging
- Turning-the-tables
- Guilt-tripping
- The Emotional Roller-Coaster
- Coercion
The above-listed manipulative techniques are remarkably effective. However, they are not unique to churches, cults or other spiritual abusers. Except that in the context of Spiritual Abuse they are practiced in the name of God. Dealing with a person who is skilled in these methods can be a very intense experience. It leaves victims disoriented, damaged, and isolated. This then leads to a very painful recovery process. Plus, future long-term difficulties in trusting other people who claim to have a relationship with Jesus.
Manipulation in God’s Name
Manipulation in God’s name – even within churches – is not new. Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945) wrote of its power:
Thus there is such a thing as human absorption. It appears in all the forms of conversion wherever the superior power of one person is consciously or unconsciously misused to influence profoundly and draw into his spell another individual or a whole community. Here one soul operates directly upon another soul. The weak have been overcome by the strong, the resistance of the weak has broken down under the influence of another person. He has been overpowered … [Life Together, p. 33.]
Our Vulnerabilities
Although obviously not everyone is victimised in this way, each of us goes through periods of weakness in our lives. Times when we are potentially susceptible to being drawn into the personal vortex of a spiritual abuser. For example, you may have experienced a very disappointing career setback and be involved in some personal struggles. This gives a spiritually abusive person the chance to step into your life and claim that he has the answer to your problems.
Or you may have joined an abusive group right after going away to university or college, or after going through a divorce. Perhaps it happened when you experiencing the death of a loved one. Maybe as part of a desperate attempt to deal with depression, or the depression of a family member. Many very stressful events can make us vulnerable to manipulative people. At such times our normal, healthy, God-given suspicion of such confidence-artists has been dulled by the blows of life. As such, our resistance is low. It can happen to anyone.
They Know What They’re Doing
Whether they perceive themselves as noble or they realise that they are not, spiritual abusers know what they are doing. Some leaders have a degree in psychology. They know what they are doing. Others learned the tricks from mentors. Still others seem to have a natural gift for it. The similarities between the techniques employed by groups all over the world are simply amazing. From the beginning of the spiritual abuse process to the end, all of these people are experts in manipulation.
Thanks for reading,
Psychic Madeline Rose
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