The Struggle to Leave
It is common for people in an emotionally abusive relationship to find that The Struggle to Leave the relationship is enormous and almost unbearable. Sometimes it appears that no matter how destructive the relationship is to the victim, he or she feels compelled to stay in it anyway. The victim may have had lowered self-worth to start with.
Being treated badly by the emotional abuser often serves to reduce the victim’s self-image. Their feelings of capability, worth, and mental stability are reduced enough that leaving seems a frightening venture. Loyalty also holds people in relationships. While this can have a positive and cementing effect in a healthy relationship, in an emotionally abusive relationship it is often a misapplied concept.
Here are 3 ways loyalty is misplaced in an emotionally abusive relationship:
1) The victim may confuse fear with loyalty. True loyalty comes from a place of love, concern, and consideration for the feelings of your partner. Are you afraid of what your partner might do to you if they discover that you want to leave? If so, then your actions are motivated by fear for your safety rather than genuine loyalty to the relationship.
2) The definition of loyalty is likely to be defined by the abuser. Emotionally abusive relationships are about control. Frequently the abuser will place restrictions and definitions on acceptable behaviour in the relationship. This is regardless of whether or not it is reasonable or shows any respect for the autonomy of their partner. For example, for an abuser, “loyalty” might be defined as spending time with no one but the abuser. It will mean forsaking friends and family. In a healthy relationship, this would not be demanded or labeled as being loyal.
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Thanks for reading,
Psychic Madeline Rose
Here’s a site where you’ll find my writings.
The Bravehearts of Belgrave High is now published. I have completed the first in a series of novels that I wrote for teens. It is the courageous story of a young girl growing up in a home filled with domestic violence. She also has to endure a school and neighbourhood full of bullies. We read how she maneuvres her way through such a difficult situation. Plus, how she grows because of it, among other themes in the novel.
The desired outcome for young readers is that they will be inspired to treasure their unique differences. If they don’t fit in with the system or with those around them, then they should realise that it’s quite okay not to fit in.
My first novel was written to help raise funds for the private foundation that I established, which might later become a charity. Click here if you’d like to be taken to the site where you can purchase this novel. If you cannot see the site, use a browser other than Chrome.
If you’d like to meet someone special for a long term relationship, there’s a new Australian match-making service starting very shortly. Keep your eye out for when it is ready to launch. Here’s the link: LoveHonourandRespect.Me