How to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity
It is not uncommon when a couple has been married for some time, for the spark to have gone from their relationship. The distractions of life will pull at the relationship and place stresses where there were none before. As one or both partners become tired of making an effort, weaknesses occur in the relationship. Then, when someone who appears to be a little more exciting comes along, infidelity happens. Here are some tips on How to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity.
Eye to Eye Attention
The most intrusive invader into your relationship these days is the damn mobile phone. Trust me, if you want your relationship to work, wean yourself off it. Limit your use of the phone to text messaging and phone calls. Have a laptop or desktop set up in your office and when you’re in front of your computer, that’s when you answer your emails. Go and sit with your spouse and your children and give each one of them eye to eye attention.
Eye to eye attention is like the great battery charger of relationships. You only need to plug in for about an hour a day, and your spouse or your child feels totally supported and loved from the attention that they received. They can then easily go off and do their own thing for the next 23 hours of their life, and you’ll feel better too.
Get Rid of Social Media
Personally, I can’t understand the addiction that almost everyone has these days to social media. How did people get fooled into thinking that a platform like Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram actually has the same value as good old fashioned spending time with people?
Nor can I get used to this unsightly fashion that young women follow of making a duck-face for the camera. Whatever happened to smiling for the camera? I’m not ashamed to say that a duck-face pose looks absolutely ridiculous! Get over yourselves, would you?!
Aside from how ridiculous it is to think that people other than your family and real-life friends actually care what you’re doing from moment to moment, posting those things just lets those who could actually use that information against you know what you’re up to. Potential employers, enemies, pedophiles, and alphabet agencies never had it so easy. Get rid of the time-wasting habit of posting on social media. Put the same amount of effort into caring about the people who are right there in front of you instead.
Shatter-Proof Your Life
Keep the people who don’t support you at arm’s length in your life. If you notice that someone likes to try to advise you when you haven’t asked for advice, no matter how ‘helpful’ they might think they’re being, don’t let them do it. He or she is infringing on you.
When someone tries to do this to me, I tell them, “Unless I ask for your advice, don’t give it!” I don’t tolerate people telling me what to do or giving me advice that I haven’t asked for.
Their Need to Be Needed
Become elusive with people like this. They just interfere because they have a need within themselves to be needed. They offer advice because they need to feel that they’re doing something good for the world. However, what they really should be doing is fixing their own issues or working towards their own set of goals. Giving advice to others is what gives their own life meaning, and if they’re covertly jealous or envious of you in any way, they will subtly try to destroy your relationship.
If they openly criticise you all the time, if you’re not assertive enough to speak up and tell them to stop, then suddenly become too busy to see them. What you need in your life is people who support you, not people who try to bring you down.
Name the Behaviour
If someone is flirting with you and you get a sense that there’s a game going on, name what he or she is doing. Bring it out into the open. Say to them, “Don’t flirt with me. I’m in a relationship and you need to respect that.” It will knock the person on their tail when you do that. Their game will soon be brought to a halt because you’ve named what they are doing. If they try to deny what they are doing, say to them, “Bullshit. It’s very obvious what you’re doing. Now cut it out.”
The Aussie Way
It’s a very Australian thing to be direct. My American readers will find it difficult to be as blunt as what I’m suggesting, but my Aussie readers will easily be able to enact these suggestions.
Of course, if you’re a woman and you start speaking to a man in this way, he’s going to label you as hostile or aggressive. That too is a subtle way of trying to gain the upper hand. If you were a man, he’d appreciate the fact that you’re being direct with him. However, because you’re a woman, he won’t like you being so upfront with him. Thus he will try to ridicule what you’re doing by labeling you as either angry, hostile, aggressive, or that you have an attitude. If he says that you have an attitude, you can always say, “Yes, I do have an attitude. My attitude is that men like you who are only after one thing are people worth avoiding.” Or you can say “I’m not angry, just direct and passionate. You just can’t handle my directness – that’s the real issue here.”
Avoid Dangerous Situations
Skip the conference in Sydney with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him.
Learn to Set Boundaries
Practice saying no without feeling the need to justify why you have said no. You don’t have to explain yourself. Just say no, and wait. Say nothing else. This will feel really uncomfortable when you first learn how to do it. However, after a while, you’ll gain traction on what you’re attempting to learn and you won’t feel the discomfort anymore. It will feel natural to you, and it will feel right to say no.
When you reach that point, if you do feel any discomfort and you’re anything like me, what you will be sensing is the other person’s discomfort at you saying no. The feelings that you will be feeling won’t belong to you, so don’t let their feelings rattle you.
Don’t Dress to Impress
If you dress in a way that invites people other than your spouse to flirt with you, then you’re pretty stupid if you ask me. If you want your relationship to last, don’t create any gaps where other people can get their foot in the door of your life. You can still dress well, but you don’t have to show any cleavage, do you? You don’t have to wear skirts that show most of your legs. You don’t have to do those things to feel a sense of self-worth.
Look at how beautifully Melania Trump dresses. She’s a beautiful woman with a lovely figure, but does she ever dress in a way that invites other men to hit on her? No! Study the way that she dresses if you want to learn how to keep your partner.
And guys, you don’t have to show your amazing biceps when you’re at work in the office. You don’t have to wear trousers that show how taught your butt is. You can still wear formal trousers, but they don’t have to hug your body. Be discrete. Save your body for your wife or girlfriend. Others will just have to find their own partner, but you are taken.
Don’t Tell Smutty Jokes
Save the sex talk for your own bedroom. Talking about human sexuality in any way that isn’t respectful when discussing the topic with anyone is inviting trouble. In fact, it’s a very wise idea not to talk about it at all with anyone outside of your marriage or relationship. Unless you’re getting therapy for ED or frigidity, of course.
Firstly, men can’t help themselves – they are biologically programmed to think about sex 10 times every hour. It’s bad enough that they have to try to discipline their thinking, but if you open a can of worms by talking about it, then one thing leads to another and before you know it you’re entangled in something that you didn’t plan. Just don’t begin the conversation in the first place. Simple.
Double Check Your Written Communication
The way to know whether what you’ve written in a text or an email is appropriate or not is to ask yourself: “Would I feel comfortable showing this to my wife (or husband)?” If the answer is no, then don’t send the message.
Talk About Your Beloved
If you’re a guy and you find yourself alone with a woman whom you find attractive and things are getting uncomfortable, start talking about your wife – what her hobbies are, and how much you love her. It immediately kills the mood.
Same advice for the ladies. If a guy is coming on to you, start talking about your beloved husband. Talk about how much you love him, how you first fell in love, how much you value the family that you’ve created together. This will sort out your pursuer, real quick. And that, my dear readers, is how you halt them in their tracks. Learn to nip things in the bud.
So there you have it. A few good tips on how to deal with some of the various situations that are bound to come up when you’re in a relationship. If you love your partner and you don’t want to commit infidelity, then just decide to learn how to deal with other people’s approaches. You won’t regret becoming the kind of person who honestly is True Blue.
Thanks for reading,
Psychic Madeline Rose
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To read more articles that will help you to develop your skills at taking part in a relationship, please click here. You’ll be taken to the blog for the foundation that I have begun which helps women to leave violent relationships.
You’ll find articles there that will teach you how to discern the right partner for you. Also how to maintain the relationship, and how to leave should he or she be treating you badly.
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